Almost Untitled

“You know what Jomags, I am tired of my life. I am pessimistic. I am depressed, insecure, frustrated, disappointed, unhappy and feeling so low. I start thinking of negative things. I am weak. I am treated as a third class citizen. I find no purpose in my life. No use. Disfunctional. Undetermined. Unrecognized. Insignificant. Dirt.

Jomags, why not end things now? ”

It was just a simple encounter with my granddaddy this morning so I decided to share it. Last saturday, after I pamper and divert my longing-for-Keko day with a mouth watering spa, *Tatay Ino came home from Batangas to visit us and have fun with his *apo (that’s me, gerard(4) & gio(2) ..lives just 20 steps away from our house). He brought his legacy food - Tulingan sa Gata. Anyone can cook that food (well, some) but his was the best, I don’t eat other Tulingan sa Gata except his. Well, Just this morning was my first time to work out and produce a pale of sweat since October last year. I started doing some punches, kicks and jumps. Tatay woke up earlier than usual. “Good morning tatay ko“, I greeted him sweaty and smiling. He responds, “O!”. Hehe, maybe he was still in the middle of dreaming and waking up. He saw me doing some crazy, drastic moves and watched me as if I am just a primetime show in tv.

When he was younger, just to woo the heart of my nanay Peng he challenged this guy (who also was trying to win nanay’s heart) in a form of a match with the use of boxing. I don’t know the other details but of course, tatay won. Tatay Ino is the one who inspires me in doing some hitting and kicking. Not all that, at the age of 78 he still manages to walk a mile or two. He taught me to live healthy, do things healthy.

Back to my story. While I was doing my moves, suddenly he was already following me. Doing the same steps and counting 1,2,3.. Haha. The scene was really funny. Especially the way he was making the twirling of hips, swinging of arms, the other maneuvers.. I just can’t stop laughing. The sweat that I have made from my work out turned into sweat of laughs. My Tatay was really trying his best to look as flexible as he can. When I was done, he was still doing what I had done. He was unstoppable.

Moi woke up. Poi woke up. Uncle Ron woke up. They saw their dad making the moves. The early morning turned into happy laughs. Instead of a manic monday, like a fairy’s wand turning everything into magical better place, well yes, tatay surely did it to us. Thanks to my tatay.

Oh yeah, just this morning too. As I said, my tatay was an unstoppable chaos. He left our house and jogs in our village. While Mamoi was cooking our breakfast she realized that it was already raining. Screamed “Si tatay! Nasan? Umuulan.. payungan ang matanda“. Uncle Ron, as fast as he can gets the blue umbrella and like a flash he ran and finds tatay. When tatay came back with Uncle Ron, Moi was scolding “Si tatay naman e, hala ligo na baka magkasakit ka“. He said to Moi “Ambon lang naman“. Moi together me and uncle Ron said “Ligo na!”. Then, tons and tons of laughs happened.

———-
Tatay - granddaddy
Nanay - grandmommy
Apo - grandchild
Tulingan - Bullet Tuna

Their first album rocks almost all lovers of music when they’ve been introduce on the second half of the year 2002. Their “Songs about Jane” won several awards and was a major hit success (gold, platinum and even triple platinum.. whew!). Listeners were going ga-ga with their debut singles including “She will be love” and “This Love”. We cannot deny that until now, these songs were gleefully being sung. But what strikes me most are the songs “Sunday Morning”, “Must Get Out” and “Harder To Breathe”.

But seriously, on the late week of March of last year I heard this jammy song on the radio. You know, I am this fanatic of Jam 88.3 and heard “Makes Me Wonder” being played. Actually I heard the DJ saying that the artist were Maroon 5 & Avril Lavigne and take note that I have no lyrics that have memorized except for the words “I don’t believe in you.. anymore, anymore” and the tune. The next day, I searched for the words/lyrics and the artists but found nothing. Tried the combination of the words/lyrics and Avril Lavigne.. none. Finally, when I searched for the words/lyrics with Maroon 5, voila! At last. Unfortunately, it was not yet available anywhere around the net, maybe. Then they released their second album “I Won’t Be Soon Before Long” on May 2007.

The second album was inspired by eighties (80s) artist such as Michael Jackson and Prince. Rhythmic yet sexy. Included are the songs like “Makes Me Wonder” and “Wake Up Call”. My personal favorites are “Not Falling Apart”, “Goodnight, Goodnight”, “Won’t Go Home Without You” and “Kiwi”. But to rate the whole album? Its package? Unique style and voice, not to mention the band members? Gosh! 5 biggie stars .

Not only with these albums, they also released some limited album hits — 1.22.03.Acoustics which was recorded live on the date included in the given title; Love Actually Movie released their OST which includes their hits “Sunday Morning” and “Sweetest Goodbye” and still they have recorded other albums.

For the first time. Maroon 5 will be on tour - Live in Manila on March 5, 2008 at Araneta Coliseum. Geesh. I definitely want to have one of their tickets and gone cheek to cheek with their lead vocalist, Adam. Price talks. Ahm, will left you, me, us broke for a month. Anyway, check out their price listings.

. .On them

Me: Sometimes I think.. “Ok Joms, you are young, in a well established company, not enough pay, has a loving parents, supportive friends and a very understanding boyfriend.. now, what’s with you Joms? It seems THEY are defining who you are right now. What are you? Where are you?”

Tin: That is part of our early mid-20’s syndrome. Kaya natin yun. Sign lang that we are maturing. Just let it flow.

. .On hobbies and talents

Me: Ano bang nagustuhan mo sa akin? See, I don’t have anything to be proud of.

Keko: You are being pessimistic! You have too much to offer. You are just so confused what to do first. You are being the jack-of-all-trade. You are always trying to chase two rabbits. Take 1 step at a time.

. .On Pan-De-Sal
Moi: O Joanna, it seems you haven’t started reading and meditating with your pan-de-sal. You asked me to provide this spiritual food but it seems you are not giving your part.

Me: With my pan, ahmm…. 5 times already… I guess.

Moi: It’s up to you ok? Again, you asked for it.

. .On going out
Gel: Tara! Come with me on friday. Let’s have fun.

Me: Ok. What should I wear? Geesh. I am a coffee-book girl. I have no idea.

Gel: What! You are making yourself boring. Wear fab clothes..

Me: <having second thoughts> Gel, naaah, I won’t be coming. That place is not me.

. .On Books and Life

Keko: How’s your read?

Me: I started last November.

Keko: A talaga? What page are you in?

Me: 15..

Keko: What! I thought you have finished it. What happened?

Me: I have been reading two books. One’s fiction and the other one is about databases.

Keko: And what page are you in with dbases?

Me: …

Keko: <disappointed> I will let you read two of my books. And when I get back, I am expecting that you have finished it from cover to cover ok?

Me: What?!! That’s too pushy. Blah blah blah…

Keko: The problem with you is that you do not put yourself into the box. You are not committing yourself on things that you are doing. Help yourself Hon.

Me: I am so upset blah blah.. It is annoying blah blah.. I am so confused blah blah.. It is so frustrating blah blah..

Keko: Hon, hussshh. You can do it ok? Promise me.

Me: Ok.

In baseball, a pitch is the act of throwing a baseball toward home plate to start a play

Pitchers throw a variety of pitches, each of which has a slightly different velocity, trajectory, movement, hand position, wrist position and/or arm angle. These variations are introduced to confuse the batter in various ways, and ultimately aid the defensive team in getting the batter or baserunners out.

To obtain variety, and therefore enhance defensive baseball strategy, the pitcher manipulates the grip on the ball at the point of release. Variations in the grip cause the seams to “catch” the air differently, therefore changing the trajectory of the ball, making it harder for the batter to hit.

.. Someone made a hard hit, and still I don’t get it. Am I the batter or the ball?

Currently listening to Maroon 5’s tracks

A full grasp. Yes. A Go Signal. But I need to discontinue some things. Office complaints, bitterness with work and unpleasant emotional breakdowns. I know that I am the one who I should blame on what I am experiencing and feeling right now. Bring to an end the pointing of finger to something or somebody responsible for the wrong or unfortunate things that are happening. Stop making excuses and finding the way out. Hit on the red signal and start doing the baby steps.

I strongly believe that this year will be good. Wait, “good” is a lame word. Like “looking good and feeling good”. Naaah! I will be better. This year is going to be a BETTER year for me. I know. I am sure of that. 100% true. I am confident. I will create my own History.

I am going to be a BETTER PERSON and I AM CLAIMING it right NOW.

There we go, two months of planning and we have finally set our out-of-the-city fun crazy day/s. I miss them so much. Now, I know why God made such friends - after all those busy schedules, stressed out days, hell weeks and never ending complaints about blah-blahs - friends.. ahm, SuperFriends will always be there to brighten up your day. Like the last cookie. You won’t give nor share the last piece with your friend instead will happily and open heartedly break it into half.

As I first set my feet out of college last May 2005, I know that living in the cruel corporate world is tough. I have a binding contract with myself that no matter how hard life may seem, where it can be too helpless or too depressing, I can do it. Do it with myself, only.